Comic-style close-up of Babo smirking, the Dubai skyline reflected in his glasses
TOP SECRET

Babo is up to something.

Sources confirm a man in Dubai has been staring at bank statements for weeks. He has not blinked. He has not learned a single debit. Something is coming to bayani.ae.

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Counting down to Q1 2027, the launch date in his own pitch deck. We read it. All 7 pages.

Read the origin story
ISSUE #1 · THE ORIGIN STORY

The Statement.

An epic in six panels. Based on true events. The events have been exaggerated. The jawline has not.

Babo in a white shirt in a Dubai boardroom, gazing at the skyline
In a country of 1.2 million companies... one man refused to learn debits.
1
Babo in a lounge as glowing bank statements burst from his phone
What if bank statements... explained themselves?
2
Babo at 4 AM surrounded by towering stacks of bank statements and coffee cups
12 banks. 0 journals. 47 coffees. 1 legend.
3
Babo calmly adjusting his glasses as a giant monster made of tax forms roars behind him
The Corporate Tax Deadline awoke. It hungered.
"I've already reconciled your running balance."
4
Babo on a snowy summit while a giant stone mountain face holds out a clipboard
He climbed the mountain seeking wisdom. The mountain asked for audited accounts.
5
Babo raising a giant golden trophy on stage under confetti
And the people said: "Finally. Someone who gets my VAT."
6

To be continued...

Issue #2: "The Trial Balance Strikes Back." Coming whenever he finishes Issue #1.

Now accepting exactly one user

Your business, clearly stated.
By Babo. For Babo.

Bayani turns bank statements into audit-format financials, a corporate tax working, a VAT review and a valuation. You never touch a debit. Babo never has either, and look at him now.

1.2M+UAE companies
450,000+corporate tax registrants
0debits learned by founder
1Babo

Debits? Never heard of her.

No journals, no ledgers, no trauma. Upload plain figures and walk away like nothing happened.

12 UAE banks. 0 tears.

PDF, Excel or CSV. WPS salaries, Ejari rent, DEWA, card settlements. It sorts them all. It has seen things.

Proven, not guessed.

Every statement line is checked against the running balance. Every joke on this page: checked unchecked.

Snap View health score.

Your business gets a health score. Babo's sleep schedule was invited and politely declined.

Valuation in one click.

DCF, earnings multiples, net assets, and a fourth secret method Babo calls "vibes".

Real auditors on standby.

When things get serious, licensed accountants appear out of the shadows. Like Batman, but with a stamp.

WALL OF LOVE

Trusted by Babo. Loved by Babo.

Independent reviews from a diverse range of Babos.

Babo in a blue blazer, arms crossed Honestly the best product I've ever built. Also the only one I've reviewed. Ten out of ten, no notes.
BaboFounder
★★★★★
Babo laughing with two thumbs up I uploaded one bank statement and cried. Happy tears. Mostly. My accountant has stopped returning my calls.
BaboEarly Adopter
★★★★★
Babo taking a suspicious low-angle selfie with a second phone He hasn't put me down since Q3. I've seen every bank statement in the UAE. Please send help.
Babo's Other PhoneVerified Device
★★★☆☆
PRICING

Simple, transparent, chai-based.

His pitch deck says "[YOUR PRICE]". We filled it in for him. You're welcome, Babo.

Owner
2 Karak /month

Payable at any cafeteria. Babo also accepts paratha as a down payment.

  • One company, all modules
  • Financial statements in UAE audit format
  • Never see a debit again
Babo Platinum MOST BABO
1 Shisha /forever

Refills included. Flavor of the month: Double Apple Reconciliation.

  • Everything in Owner
  • 2 AM WhatsApp voice notes from the founder
  • Your trial balance read aloud at your wedding
  • Monthly shisha strategy session
Practice
AED 1.2M /yr

One dirham per UAE company. Babo did this math himself, without a single debit.

  • Manage many client companies
  • Watch Babo do your job in a day
  • Complimentary existential crisis
FAQ
Is this the real Bayani?

No. This is the fan-made trailer. The real Bayani is coming soon, built by a man who is genuinely onto something. We're just saying it louder.

Who made this page?

Someone who registered the domain before Babo did. Negotiations for its release are expected to be long, emotional, and paid in shisha.

Does Babo know about this page?

He does now.

Can Bayani file my taxes?

Bayani prepares the working. Babo prepares the confidence. A licensed professional does the actual filing. Teamwork.